How to Have a Nontraditional Wedding

 My 5 Best Pieces of Advice

From the conception of Thereafter, my intention has been to photograph people in a way that is true to how you view yourself and your life. A large part of that is giving you space and guidance to host your wedding in a way that is authentic to who you are. 

And herein lies the beauty of working in this industry—this can lend itself to so many different things for every couple that I work with.

It can mean a lavish, traditional wedding in a chateau in France or it can mean a nontraditional, intimate backyard affair in Los Angeles. There is no right and there is no wrong; there is only an intentionally curated wedding that feels personal and aligned with who you are and what you stand for. 

So, in a world that is so focused on tradition and expectations in regard to weddings, how do you separate yourself from the noise and really discern what is important to you? How do you discover what the ideal wedding day for you and your partner would look like?  

Exactly how do you have a nontraditional wedding?

 

 

What Is a Nontraditional Wedding

Historically and throughout all cultures, weddings are infused with traditions. There is hardly a moment during a typical wedding day not steeped in tradition, whether it be cultural or religious in nature. 

But what if these very traditions are not the best fit for you and your partner? What if these very traditions feel inauthentic to your values and lifestyle?

This is where the possibility of having a nontraditional wedding comes into the discussion. 

A nontraditional wedding is anything that goes against the grain of customs and general expectations. It is holding the belief that your wedding day belongs to you and you alone and that you can host it as you see fit. 

There are many ways a wedding can become “nontraditional”. It can be from your clothing choices to not having a wedding party to forgoing anything that doesn’t fit your vision.

 

 

How to Have a Nontraditional Wedding

More and more people are deciding to forgo tradition and host a wedding that speaks to who they are as a couple. But with societal norms so ingrained, hosting a nontraditional wedding does take a bit of thought to pull it all together. 

Here are my top 5 pieces of advice for how to have a nontraditional wedding. 

 

 

 

Have a heart-to-heart with your partner

The first thing you need to do when planning a nontraditional wedding is to talk it through with your partner. Your wedding needs to be a place that feels comfortable and meaningful to both of you. 

Decide together what you value most for your wedding day. What is your focus? How do you want the wedding to feel for yourselves and your guests? What are you both looking forward to the most?

It can be hard to discuss how to have a nontraditional wedding without allowing your opinions to be persuaded by others. So ask yourselves the question: if there was no one to disappoint, how would your day look? 

Together, create a mental image of your ideal day. Write down exactly how it makes you feel and what it looks like. 

As you write these down, decide what are non-negotiables and what are gray areas that, if necessary, you can be flexible with. 

At the end of the day, what kind of experience do you want to walk away with? What would your greatest regrets be? 

 

 

 

Decide on Your Priorities

This falls in line with the first piece of advice but deciding on your priorities will help you plan a wedding that is abundantly personal. 

Is a large party your priority or is an intimate, thoughtful dinner more what you are looking for? Are the images what you dream about or is it having dreamy, locally-sourced florals?  

Where will you invest your energy and money and how will that affect the rest of your wedding? 

 

What Does Nontraditional Mean to You

Another aspect of planning a nontraditional wedding is figuring out what that means for your specific situation. 

Does it mean forgoing religious or cultural customs expected of you?  Does it mean skipping the wedding party or even skipping your vows? 

It could mean getting ready together or walking down the aisle together or skipping the aisle and eloping alone.  

There is no limit to exactly what nontraditional holds and these elements can be infused as little or as much as you want–as long as it feels aligned with you. 

 

 

Talk to Those Closest to You

I find that this is one element that gets overlooked quite often and can cause issues – communication. Communicate with those closest to you, your family and close friends, letting them know what you desire for your wedding and why. 

This is particularly important if your families have expected cultural or religious practices that you are eliminating.   

Another group to talk with is your close friends. Will they be crushed when you let them know you aren’t having a wedding party?  Explain your reasons why and, if you want, give them the opportunity to be involved in other ways.

It is especially respectful to talk to family members who may be contributing to the wedding budget ahead of time so you can see what they are willing to compromise on, especially if they have very definite expectations. 

 

Keep Things In Perspective

At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you should do what you feel most aligns with you and your partner.

Be graceful and kind but ignore the naysayers and plan your day, your way. 

There is a fine line between being respectful of others’ beliefs and people-pleasing, and wedding planning is one of those times when it can be hard to draw definite boundaries. But fundamentally, when you find yourself at an impasse, remember it is your day. 

Why Have a Nontraditional Wedding

Here at Thereafter, I am “team you”. I fully support a wedding vision that keeps aligned and in harmony with you and your partner’s values and ideals. 

I firmly believe that a wedding should be a thoughtfully designed experience that truly means something to you. And this is why, if having a nontraditional wedding is what makes sense for you, then you should feel supported and encouraged to go in this direction. 

Thereafter specializes in photographing weddings that are aligned and purposeful – and thoroughly authentic. I would love to chat and hear about your wedding vision and how I can help create an aligned wedding experience that you will cherish for a lifetime.